err...here I go again.

It's all because of marriage (aka rapid, constant, intense increase of sanctification) that I am revisiting my blog and attempting to post again.

Grrr. If it were up to me, I would never post again. Taking the easy way out is my preference. But no, that's not how things work in my marriage. My gracious husband has challenged me to face my sin head on, so as to encourage me towards becoming all that God has designed me to be. (Pout face).

Here it goes. As explained in my last post, blogging had become an endeavor masked with a spiritually mature appearance but rooted in the sin of seeking the praises of men. One more inch deeper and the heart of that sin is pride. The same pride that has characterized my entire life, just emerging in new form. It appeared as though I were blogging for good reasons (and I don't deny that there was some purity in those), but much more prevalent in my heart was the desire to use my writing skills to portray myself as someone mature, someone whom others admire and prize.

Once that can of worms burst open and I acknowledged this sin, I halted blogging. I sought to avoid the the arena in which my sin danced as a harlot so as to separate myself from those patterns of sin. And for this period of time away from le cose sopra, I have learned an immense amount about this sin in my life.

In ceasing to blog, another sin (what do ya know?) came to light, which is my tendency to lazy myself intellectually when I am uncomfortable. I profess that reading too many "dense" (aka important, life-changing, theological, scriptural, HELPFUL) drains me and I can only handle a limited amount of such content. I am quick to zone out when my husband expresses the deeply theological or spiritual matters that he is learning in school. And, I am slow to speak about things that can easily rub people the wrong way (i.e. controversial topics) becuase I have always thought that those were personal and people get offended easily (and apparently that isnt the case most of the time--but I suppose that depends on the audience). Essentially, I have dumbed myself down in some sense because it is easy. It is comfortable. And oh do I love comfort.

So, I reencoutner this blog in a different place. I want to challenge myself to express a gift of thinking and writing that God may have given me, but I remain in my desires to blog with pure motives. Blogging to the glory of God and not to the pleasure of men. Expressing things that are really going through my mind (and hopefully there will be more content there as I am also challenging myself to die to intellectual laziness, as God commands us to "...love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."-Mark 12:30).

We'll see where this thing ends up. I think I can honestly say I am excited for the journey.