shepherding a child's heart (pt.1)

I am obsessed with this book (Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp). No, we are not pregnant yet, nor do we plan on having children anytime soon. Nonetheless, I have found this book to be extremely insightful and helpful to me as I contemplate parenting.

I have almost always viewed parenting as a daunting task, as something so sensitive and fragile in nature that one wrong move on the parent's part and the child is irreversibly "screwed up." Due to this, a portion of me has always feared parenting. What if I abuse this responsibility to raise children? What if I do not seek after God in everything concerning my child's development? How am I supposed to lead my children, as a parent who sins?

And then I found this book, which sheds light on the subject of biblical parenting and gives me hope as a woman who anticipates childrearing. How is this book different from any other rival parenting manual? It is entirely based on Scripture, leaving few pages without any Bible verses employed to defend the arguments. Everything Tedd teaches is Bible-dependent and in agreement with a conservative view of Scripture, which to me is an excellent and necessary quality for a "spiritual inspiration" book. The first part of this book is dedicated to shifting our paradigms to apply the Scriptural worldview to the specific subject of parenting. The rest of the book is devoted to revealing what this looks like practically.

The biggest life changing part of this book (so far) is when Tedd dives into the truth that our children are sinners. That's right, cute little sinners who are in desperate need of redemption. Here is a taste of what Tripp has to say about this:

"All behavior is linked to the attitudes of the heart...[discipline] focuses correction on deeper things than changed behavior... Your concern is to unmask your child's sin, helping him to understand how it reflects a heart that has strayed. That leads to the cross of Christ. It underscores the need for a Savior. It provides opportunities to show the glories of God who sent his Son to change hearts and free people enslaved to sin." (p.6)

He goes on to capture the entire thesis that this book aims to support:

"The heart is the wellspring of life. Therefore, parenting is concerned with shepherding the heart. You must learn to work from the behavior you see, back to the heart, exposing heart issues for your children. In short, you must learn to engage them, not just reprove them." (p.6)

This truth rocked me as I read it. Our parenting must have the focus of changing the heart, not behavior. As Tripp explains, a child's behavior is a mere reflection of the deeper issues that are waging war on the child's heart. And, as we gear our parenting towards this purpose, the cross of Christ is best revealed to our little sinning children.

Ultimately, this purpose for parenting will best expose the depravity of our children and assist them in realizing their need for the One who saves.

You will be hearing much more from me regarding this book!