le cose sopra

my thoughts/experience regarding conflict in marriage

2009-03-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

It seems like every time I post I am talking about sin. I suppose that is frustrating, because it feels like I am beating a dead horse. But at the same time, I am satisfied in that, since my life is centered on recognition and repentance of sin. Isn't that the mark of a Christian?

In my aim to defeat the intellectual laziness that has so characterized my life for some time now, I have found myself much less hesitant to hold back during a conversation/discussion/debate. I think a little background history is necessary to best get to where I'm headed with this post...

You see, as a product of divorce, I was somehow socialized to believe that a difference of opinion, anything from a small disagreement to a full-blown game of yelling, was bad. THIS is what led to my parents' divorce. For them, conflict shook the foundations of their marriage. Every battle only seemed to illuminate the rocky foundation in which their marriage formed, and thus, conflict was avoided in hopes of masking the true nature of their relationship. (FYI--this is only my interpretation. To this day, I have still not received a straight-forward reason for their divorce). A healthy understanding of conflict never hit my radar until I met other families (such as my in laws) who are still together and work through conflict on a regular basis.

All that to say, it has always been my natural tendency to "shut down" when a conversation/discussion/debate reaches that point of conflict in which things get personal and offenses are had. Part of me has justified this passivity with wanting to be humble in some sense (I guess?) for backing out of a potentially destructive war of words. I suppose I have also wanted to keep guard of my tongue, and not get to the point of justifying statements that I don't mean with the emotions of the moment. But, in my attempts to do this, I have surrendered my privilege to engage others on a deep and meaningful level.

I have chosen passivity for two reasons: I am lazy and a lover of comfort (sin), and I have assumed that aggression is the opposite (result of my parents' sin). Part of me has not dared to continue in conversations when the going gets tough because I do not want to offend others, but more so, because I am afraid of a relationship crumbling at the sight of conflict.

And what do you know...earlier in the week, Matt and I got to talking about some interesting things...and I decided to not shut off, but engage him in this productive and thoughtful dialogue. Somewhere in the mix, I got super defensive, and at the end of the night, I desperately fought off the temptations to think that our marriage was on the rocks. Ah!

I am still trying to figure all of this out. But I know that God is teaching me in this time. I know that there is a place for healthy conflict in marriage. I am so not there yet.

And, after that messiness, all I could do was confess to Matt. He was so gracious to forgive me and grant me patience in dealing with all this.

I cannot forget that our marriage is founded on Christ, the God of the universe, everlasting and unchanging. Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ. And if our marriage is dependent on this love, what can tear us apart?

err...here I go again.

2009-03-19T08:45:00.001-07:00

It's all because of marriage (aka rapid, constant, intense increase of sanctification) that I am revisiting my blog and attempting to post again.

Grrr. If it were up to me, I would never post again. Taking the easy way out is my preference. But no, that's not how things work in my marriage. My gracious husband has challenged me to face my sin head on, so as to encourage me towards becoming all that God has designed me to be. (Pout face).

Here it goes. As explained in my last post, blogging had become an endeavor masked with a spiritually mature appearance but rooted in the sin of seeking the praises of men. One more inch deeper and the heart of that sin is pride. The same pride that has characterized my entire life, just emerging in new form. It appeared as though I were blogging for good reasons (and I don't deny that there was some purity in those), but much more prevalent in my heart was the desire to use my writing skills to portray myself as someone mature, someone whom others admire and prize.

Once that can of worms burst open and I acknowledged this sin, I halted blogging. I sought to avoid the the arena in which my sin danced as a harlot so as to separate myself from those patterns of sin. And for this period of time away from le cose sopra, I have learned an immense amount about this sin in my life.

In ceasing to blog, another sin (what do ya know?) came to light, which is my tendency to lazy myself intellectually when I am uncomfortable. I profess that reading too many "dense" (aka important, life-changing, theological, scriptural, HELPFUL) drains me and I can only handle a limited amount of such content. I am quick to zone out when my husband expresses the deeply theological or spiritual matters that he is learning in school. And, I am slow to speak about things that can easily rub people the wrong way (i.e. controversial topics) becuase I have always thought that those were personal and people get offended easily (and apparently that isnt the case most of the time--but I suppose that depends on the audience). Essentially, I have dumbed myself down in some sense because it is easy. It is comfortable. And oh do I love comfort.

So, I reencoutner this blog in a different place. I want to challenge myself to express a gift of thinking and writing that God may have given me, but I remain in my desires to blog with pure motives. Blogging to the glory of God and not to the pleasure of men. Expressing things that are really going through my mind (and hopefully there will be more content there as I am also challenging myself to die to intellectual laziness, as God commands us to "...love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength."-Mark 12:30).

We'll see where this thing ends up. I think I can honestly say I am excited for the journey.

my sin in blogging

2008-10-27T09:36:00.001-07:00

Blogging has been challenging in my short 2 months of experience. Let me explain.

Hypocrisy has intensified as I have aimed to declare my (false) wisdom and (inflated) knowledge. Hiding in my heart is a motivation to blog with the hope that others may view me as a wise, godly woman with much to say at such a young age.

But how shallow I really am, realizing that I have run out of gas only a handful of weeks into this blogging project. I just don't have that much wisdom in my 21 years on this earth, and now I get that.

I just want to come clean about this for my own conscience and for any readers (if there are any) whom may have been led astray by my falsity.

Another motivation for blogging has been to edify myself (and others) throughout the workday. Really, all I have been doing in this arena is regurgitating information found on other beneficial blogs. I have been a fake; I have posted on issues, Scripture verses, books, etc. that have not transformed my life. I have posted just to post, and this pattern has become deafening.

There are other blogs that can meet our needs as younger individuals seeking wisdom and godliness (see my recommended blog list). I will no longer pretend that my blog can meet this need.

In the future, I hope to blog on what is truly impacting my life. Wisdom or folly, it will aim to be authentic and raw, a challenge for me to wage war against the pride that desperately desires the praises of men. Hopefully, others may benefit from my attempt to process what God is doing in my life, my current struggles, and whatever hints of insight I may gain along the way.

biblical womanhood

2008-10-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

I found this video informative and inspiring. It is beneficial for both men and women to watch, as it toys with the ideas of biblical womanhood within the context of a feminist culture.

weekly scripture memory

2008-10-14T08:22:00.000-07:00

"Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." (2 Corinthians 5:20-21)

joshua project

2008-10-10T08:43:00.001-07:00

Following the example of bloggers such as Justin Taylor, I have added the "Unreached People Group of the Day," provided by Joshua Project, to the right side of my blog. Hopefully it will serve as a constant reminder that there are nations in this world that have never even been exposed to Jesus Christ, and we who know the truth have a responsibility to make disciples of all nations. At the least, we can begin by interceding on their behalf in prayer.

why is marriage important?

2008-10-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

If you have 3 minutes, watch this clip of John Piper preaching on the magnifcance of marriage. Guarantee it will raise your view of marriage.

scripture memory

2008-10-09T08:43:00.000-07:00

I love memorizing Scripture. It is so helpful during times of struggle to recall Truth from the Bible, God's Word to us. It is comforting to dwell on the things above while we carry on with life on earth. If you think about it, Scripture is God's way of communicating with us. How amazing is that!
My problem is that I forget to take the time to absorb Scripture. I am quick in reading, interpreting, and applying... but I fail to truly allow the Truth to penetrate my thoughts. I would really like to improve in this area.

As of yesterday, I began dwelling on this verse:
"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Hopefully I can grow in the richness of Christ through memorizing Scripture, and I invite you to share in this with me.

the pornification of a generation

2008-10-08T14:12:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my sweetie (and Abe Serrano, for forwarding to Matt), I just finished reading this vitally provocative article entitled "The Pornification of a Generation" by Jessica Bennett, Newsweek Magazine.

Where do I begin? Firstly, let me preface my comments by acknowledging that I was a Sociology major in my years at UCLA, which "socialized" me to become someone relatively passionate about Sociology. Or really, someone very interested in how sociological studies can capture a culture in many unique ways that other sciences fall short at doing...I'm still not sold on the sociological perspective of the world. I love learning about the direction in which our culture is headed, as it is always changing and always sinning.

Onto the article. You have to be stuck in a hole next to Osama in order to miss that our culture is completely oversexualized. Unfortunately, it is our generation whom is reaping the consequences of the Sexual Liberators of the 1970s, and we see this in record-high divorce rates, an abundance of homosexual/bisexual relationships (increasingly encouraged by governmental measures), stably-high abortion rates, and incidences of cohabitation that almost match the number of marriages in this country. It is clear that we are a culture much far removed from the "innocence" during the years of the beginnings of track homes and culturally strict gender roles.

One of the statistics that startled me most was that "According to a 2007 study from the University of Alberta, as many as 90 percent of boys and 70 percent of girls aged 13 to 14 have accessed sexually explicit content at least once." Are you kidding me? What a sad state of American culture, in which teenage girls assume incorrect sexual identities and boys immaturely buy into instant virtual gratification.

Although I mentioned earlier that our culture is oversexualized, I never would quite consider that a "porning" effort. But it makes sense; in a culture that is almost rarely free from images and visual stimulation, how could we possibly avoid the objectification of sex and in turn, the apathy towards such provocative images? It is easy when our culture functions solely on the basis of externalities. And I hate to say it, but I think the television and the internet have catalyzed such cultural backwardness.

Reading this article just reminds me that we are a screwed up culture. The world that surrounds us is boiling with sin, and unfortunately that is taking the toll in damaging ways (I think ahead to how I will need to make extreme efforts to feed my children accurate ideas of sexuality). As a Christian community, we need to be showing this confused world that Truth exists and is worth living for. We need to understand the faults of the culture that surrounds us so that we do not fail to blend in and dishonor God in doing so. We need to hold fast to the truth and shine as lights in a world of darkness.

We need to apply the Gospel to this culture of ours that is image-driven, socially shallow, and showered by pornography.

bread of life

2008-10-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

"Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe. All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out."
(John 6:35-37)

May we remember today that God has satisfied our hunger and our thirst, and He will never cast out those who the Father brings to Him.

knowledge and experience

2008-10-07T08:08:00.001-07:00

I feel like lately my eyes have been opened to an interesting realization. Although my nose is stuck in about 5 books at the moment, it seems that the knowledge I gain never fully prepares me for actual experience.

For example, I recently read Practicing Hospitality, which naturally is all about hospitality. Initially, I was blown away by the Scriptural evidence that explains the richness of hospitality and challenged by the exhortations embedded in the lines of this book. I felt like I could better explain hospitality; I felt knowledgeable about the topic.

But, of course, when I am challenged to apply the concept to my own life, I am totally incompetent. Having tackled the theology of hospitality could not prepare me for the actual experience of hospitality, and I will be honest in admitting that it has been harder than I thought.

My point is this: we can read as many books as we want on certain subjects, we can attain as much knowledge as humanly possible, BUT without applying the knowledge to our lives, it is useless.

"Now concerning food offered to idols: we know that “all of us possess knowledge.” This “knowledge” puffs up, but love builds up. If anyone imagines that he knows something, he does not yet know as he ought to know. But if anyone loves God, he is known by God." (1 Corinthians 8:1-3)

Now, don't get me wrong. There is so much good in learning and gaining knowledge. I think it is extremely beneficial to pursue knowledge. "An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." (Proverbs 18:15) There is such wisdom in acquiring knowledge! But, we must be wary to simply allow knowledge to inflate us to the point of uselessness.

And, there is truth in that sometimes we can never fully be prepared (no matter how much we know) for what can be gained through experience. I am discovering this with marriage, and I bet most parents would agree with this in regards to parenting.

Nonetheless, our knowledge must journey from the head to the heart to truly impact our lives and to prepare us to the fullest for what the Lord may cause us to experience.

contentment

2008-10-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." (1 Peter 1:3-9)

I love this chunk of 1 Peter. It is richly layered with truth that satiates the soul. Every time I sink my teeth into this verse, I am comforted. Promises of salvation are clear and abundant, discussion about trials is present and purposeful, and talk of faith is real and passionate. My soul is at rest when I take the time to digest all that is in these lines!

In addition to the peace that my heart absorbs when reading these verses, I believe that hearing Biblical truth realigns our hearts and refocuses our minds. When I read the Truth, I no longer feel discontent by circumstances or pushed and pulled by external forces. I am grounded, like in Psalm 1:

"He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers." (verse 3)

My point can be applied as this (and I feel it would be helpful to clarify here): in raving about marriage, I want to be honest that I am still predisposed to discontentment. Marriage has not fulfilled me or satisfied me beyond how Christ does. I have not "arrived" now that I am married; I am just as much exposed to desires for the next best thing as I was when I was single, engaged, etc. When before it was a husband, now it is a baby (not a kid, just a baby...how silly!) that I covet. We want what we believe will satisfy us, but we use earthly terms to measure.

When are we going to stop striving for the next best earthly comfort, our latest obsession for what we trick ourselves into thinking will satiate us? Christ is all that we need.

immaturity or selfishness?

2008-10-03T08:31:00.000-07:00

In reading Shepherding a Child's Heart, I came across this passage, which I found extremely interesting and thought-provoking. It comes from a chapter titled "Your Child's Development: Godward Orientation":

"Since it is the Godward orientation of your child's heart that determines his response to life, you may never conclude that his problems are simply a lack of maturity. Selfishness is not outgrown. Rebellion against authority is not outgrown. These things are not outgrown because they are not reflective of immaturity but rather the idolatry of your child's heart." (p.23)

I never really thought about it like that. As parents, we cannot reduce our child's problems to immature development. Even mature individuals still have a heart that naturally wanders away from God. We must focus our corrective and restorative attention on the problem that infects us all: the heart.

(P.S. The Anne Geddes photo is a joke... how ridiculous and weird is this "art"?!)

midweek Gospel

2008-10-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

"Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all." (Isaiah 53:4-6)

Sin is gross. It is ugly, dirty, and depressing. Sometimes I find myself convinced that my sin owns me, that it rules me...that I am not allowed to interact with God.

But Christ gave up His life for us sinners, for those whom God desired to know intimately. Even though we are sinners until we die, Christ has given us a new life. We are healed by His wounds! His chastisement has brought us peace! His death has brought us life! May we praise God for turning over His Son to be crushed for our iniquities.

let's talk about...

2008-10-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

...sex.

Erin nicely informed me yesterday that Mark Driscoll over at Mars Hill Church in Seattle just began a sermon series on the Song of Songs. Of course, the Song of Songs is an extremely intimate and even erotic book, in which Solomon and his wife engage in physical intimacy (and it's in the Bible...how sweet!). I have begun watching Driscoll preach on this topic, and so far it is awesome. I really enjoy how much he values marriage and his family (and oftentimes that is expressed in hilarious practical applications).

Watching these sermons reminded me of my early months as a Christian, in which I listened to a sermon series about sex, money, and power (or something like that) from Rock Harbor Church in Orange County. I remember how much listening to honest discussion about God's view of sex transformed my mind and heart, and ultimately led me down a path towards purity. It was so good for me to learn about the goodness of sex in the context of marriage, and that it is a gift from God meant to be enjoyed. How awesome is that! Sex is a taboo subject within the Christian subculture, and that is unfortunate and damaging to the body (who lives amongst a culture with perverted and distorted views of sex). It is a tainted topic with baggage for most of us, and we need to drench ourselves in the truth about it if we are to "...eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." (1 Corinthians 10:31)

PLEASE, I beg you, if you have never really thought about or seeked out God's design for physical intimacy, begin that journey NOW. It is not something just for marrieds to discuss; we all need to have an accurate view of sex, even if it is not a part of our lives. And, if you know that your view is incorrect or confused, DO NOT wait around until you meet that special someone to discover how God's design for sex can influence your life now.

Here are some helpful resources:

The Peasant Princess series from Mars Hill Church (which is good so far, minus the distracting neon stage lights... what the heck?!)
Shoreline also preached a series on love and romance (I forget the title) in which sex was addressed. You can access those sermons here.
Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, edited by John Piper and Justin Taylor. There is a sweet chapter in there for ladies, titled "What every Christian wife needs to know," in which Carolyn Mahaney practically instructs women on how to view (and seek out) physical intimacy with their husbands.
I would love to communicate with you if you are concerned, confused, or afraid of sex (or just want to toss around ideas about it). Girls only, please! I just want to clarify that I am not an expert, nor do I have all the answers. But, my ideas and understanding of sex have radically changed throughout my walk with Christ, and I would love to share how He has transformed me.

If God wrote an entire book of the Bible about the topic (and Paul/other NT writers warn against sexual immorality A LOT), then we should at least consider what God has to say about it, and what that means for our lives now. Let's talk about it!

reflections of Shoreline women's retreat

2008-09-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, about 40 Shoregirls trucked up to Big Bear, CA for a couple of days away from LA. Amidst the many conversations, arts and crafts fun, and time spent outside in the gorgeous weather, pastor's wife Wendy Risky (from Castle Rock, CO) blessed us with her presence. Although I enjoyed getting to know women and all the various activities of the weekend, Wendy's exposition of truth was by far the highlight.

One of the things that stood out to me most about Wendy was her ability to pour out her heart to a group of women she mostly didn't know, without filtering the good from the bad. Hearing what the Lord has been doing in her life over the last three years was both encouraging and frightening; it is awesome to see God break someone's heart and work in such a radical way to sanctify her, but it scares me that God may choose to allow similar challenging circumstances to further me in the sanctification process. Yikes! As a pastor-in-training's wife, I am aware that God may bend and break us through tough times. I guess what I am saying is that it was refreshing to hear a pastor's wife's perspective of her struggles while she was still stuck in them.

It became very clear to me this weekend that God desires His church, His body, to be authentic. Wendy set the tone for authenticity this weekend, as she did not hesitate to mention her dislike for being the wife of a pastor (how brave!). But, I found that as she exposed her heart in all of its imperfections, the conversations I had with my small group became more authentic. Confession of sin was natural; the desire for change was abundant. And though Wendy was powerful in her speech, it was the Lord who worked on our hearts this past weekend to teach us.

Oddly enough, the theme of the weekend was "joy," and I feel like what I learned had little to do with that topic. I discovered another sin in my own life (thanks be to God!) in which I am aware of my sin and acknowledge it, but fail to hate it. I don't mind that I am selfish and prideful...I know they exist in my life, I know that it is good to confess them to God, but I don't really desire them to flee from myself. How pitiful! What this reveals is my inaccurate and incomplete view of God, and my incredible need for Him.

This is the verse that Wendy taught from this weekend:

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." (Philippians 4:8-9)

Although we are wrecks dirtied by sin, the Spirit of God is working in us to conform us to His image. And, we can hope in this promise for the future, that on the day we meet God face to face, we will be perfect.

children pharisees

2008-09-26T08:23:00.000-07:00

My wonderful husband sent me this article about parenting from the Children's Pastor over at John MacArthur's Grace Community Church. It closely relates to my post about Shepherding a Child's Heart. This article, by Kurt Gebhards, exposes the danger of raising a "pharisee" by failing to focus on the heart as "the wellspring of life" and the root of all human action. I found it beneficial to read the warning signs of a child pharisee, and the corrective measures that these parents of pharisees need to take. Here is a snippit of the article:

"It is the sad testimony of church history that the works and expressions of sacrificial love and devotion of one generation of Christians can quickly turn into legalistic rules and regulations for the next. The convictions of the first generation become the caprice of the second. It is sad and shameful how quickly the Object of wonder and worship of a generation can become the boredom and betrayal of the next. Hypocrisy is an imminent and evident threat to the church of Jesus Christ.
Churched children are seldom given to outright defiance of authority; they are much more susceptible to the poison of Pharisaism. Hypocrisy in the heart is much more difficult to spot than disobedient behavior."

We must be thoughtful, intentional, and Scripturally guided if we are to breed G0d-fearing children. We cannot conform to any culturally praised parenting styles if they condone behavior correction as opposed to heart correction. If we are not careful, we may raise those to whom Christ would say, "‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’" (Matthew 7:23)

the spiritually weak

2008-09-25T14:25:00.000-07:00

"But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ's gift...And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love." (Ephesians 4:7,11-16)

I am reminded that a member of the body of Christ, it is my privilege to be praying for those in the body whom may be "spiritually weak." To be honest, my gut instinct is to scream in the faces of those who are willingly disobedient, overstuffed with pride, and plagued by selfishness.

But then I remember that from God's perspective, I don't look any different from these neighbors. I am a sinner, just as they are, though maybe more crafty in the means by which I attempt to hide my filth and dirt from God and others.

By the blood of Christ, I am now a new creation, deemed spotless in His sight, only by His doing.

God has the power to transform us, to take us in our sinful state and purify us by the sacrifice of His Son on the cross. Let us pray today for those who are blindly distant with God, that He may "...mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes."

May God be glorified in His willingness to carry us out of darkness and into His marvelous light.

reflections, blogging, community

2008-09-25T08:11:00.000-07:00

Last night, I came home from work and hopped in the shower. Waves of thoughts crashed through my head, mainly about blogging, my current life circumstances, and community. It dawned on me that as a new chapter of my life has opened (marriage, full-time work) that another one has closed (my flexible schedule).

No longer can I nap between classes, grab coffee with someone while the sun is still out, or meet with people anytime I want. Gladly, I now work full-time, but that also has its cons. Essentially, the way I previously experienced community has evolved into something new and different.

To begin, my "free" time reduced from about 10 hrs/day to at the most 5 hrs/day. And, although this time is not clouded with the looming task of homework, I now have a husband that I want to care for and nurture during these short hours. When I used to have tons of time, I could balance hanging out with Matt, meeting with friends and Shoregirls, school, and ministry. Quite compartmental and conducive to what best suited my schedule.

Now, as a wife, I have learned that Matt and I can still spend quality time together (date night!) while also figuring out how to minister to people together. The biggest way this occurs is through opening our home to friends, family, and even strangers (Naama!). Where I don't get as much of that prized alone time as before, I now am blessed to have a husband to care for and a home to welcome community into.

Although I am available most lunches during the week, this new pattern of life means that I am unable to meet with women as much as before. I hope to learn how I can do this more while balancing the other elements of my life. This is where blogging comes in.

Maybe my work life is just temporarily easy, but I have (in total) a couple hours each day that I spend web surfing, blogging, and reading interesting literature online. Where previously I was able to meet with people in person, I am now restricted to my computer all day. But, we can still "meet" through my blog!

I am hoping that as I blog, people may get to know me or at least read what God is doing in my life. This sounds like a new method of community; although I prefer meeting face-to-face, I am unable to do that like I once could. So, here I am... in blog form!

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:10)

girltalk!

2008-09-24T13:46:00.000-07:00

Another obsession of late is the Girltalk blog. I think this is for several reasons.

The blog follows Pastor C.J. Mahaney's wife (Carolyn) and three daughters (Nicole, Kristin, and Janelle) in their quest to grow as women of the Lord. Each of these women is either married to a pastor of some sort or involved in ministry, and the content of their blog is absolutely biblically sound. (Sometimes they quote Jonathan Edwards and John Calvin, which I know would make my husband happy!)
It provides a glimpse into the lives of women with children (of which there aren't an abundance of at Shoreline) and one woman with grandchildren. They maintain a high view of family, and many posts are oriented to encourage readers to pursue family the way God designs it to be and describes it in His Word. As C.J. and Carolyn raised mature, God-fearing children, I am desperately seeking to learn their tips and advice. What worked and what didn't work? What did raising this family look like?
I'm pretty sure that these four women are homemakers, which is so encouraging to me (as I view myself firstly, as a Christian woman; secondly, as a wife to a pastor-in-training; and thirdly, as a future mother). Their desire to glorify God in and through their families is inspiring to me (and this love for family flushes itself out in other fun ways, such as fun family traditions suggestions and recipe posts).

I highly recommend this blog to other women who are enticed by the goodness of raising a family and would enjoy some additional encouragement/advice/tidbits of wisdom from older women.

what a morning

2008-09-24T07:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, it really wasn't too crazy of a morning... I was just extremely hesitant to turn off my alarm and greet the day with a smile. Grumbling and grouching for a good hour this morning, I finally got my bearings straight when I ingested a vanilla latte and chocolate chip scone (a treat especially for a morning like today's). Once I opened the Word, it hit me: my struggle with self-pity is so much deeper than I thought.

Do I really believe that I am entitled to a certain amount of sleep each night? Do I really think that each day I must achieve a certain level of physical comfort in order to live life abundantly? Based on my reaction this morning, I think I do.

On days especially like today, I need to hear the Gospel preached to me again and again.

"...Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." (Philippians 2:5-7)

What does it say about me that I believe I am entitled to a certain standard of living, when Christ, who is God, gave up His own rights as God to come to earth and die for sinners like me? How dishonoring to Him it must be to look down and see people like me gripe about such silliness as only 6 hours of sleep, considering His tremendous sacrifice for us. He willingly obeyed God the Father to become a mere human and grant believers in Him eternal life, ultimately to redeem the earth through His people. How fresh this gift of salvation is, as we think of how we do not deserve it! How glorious the weight of Christ's burden at the cross, that He willfully surrendered His privileges as God for the sake of His children!

Thank you, Christ, for the depths of your sacrifice!

confessions of a sinner

2008-09-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

Have you ever lived a day that is absent of prayer? I know that I have. And what a tragic day it is to go to bed realizing that God wasn't important enough to you to spend time with during a busy day. I would like to be truthful in saying that those days came and went for me as I began my relationship with God, still learning His goodness and truth in His word. But, if I were to really be truthful, I would confess that days like these do appear sporadically in my current state of spiritual existence.

This is a terrible, terrible thing. For one, it proves my absolute tendency to disobey God and stray from His holiness (which is technically a good thing, because it shows my state of sin and need for a Savior). "...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." (Romans 3:23). I oftentimes prefer what is easy, that which does not impose on my lifestyle, and all that adheres to my innermost desire for comfort. I want to take on the task of life on by myself; I want to be sufficient in and of myself.

Nonetheless, my desire to pray and be intimate with God (outside of reading His word, which although this is relatively consistent in my life, I have found that the intimacy intended to be shared with God is incomplete without prayer) is petty. It is oftentimes me focused (in the sense that I almost treat God as though He is a genie to make my wishes come true) and the same gargle that I choke up in most of my prayers. Here is the proof that I am a sinner, and here unfolds the truth that my view of God is limited, incomplete, and potentially inaccurate.

Now, I have come to this realization after applying that earlier post on waking up early for intimate time with the Lord. Although that meant 10 minutes earlier than the normal rooster call, it made the world of difference today, as I have found myself naturally turning to God in prayer. It is natural to me today (so far, as it is only 9:15am), an overflow of spiritual intimacy spent at the beginning of my day.

But what about later today at 3:45pm when I'm tired of making copies and itching to go home? What excuse will I use then for a halt in intimacy with God? Am I so far removed from holiness that I allow my circumstances to dictate my joy? Am I such a sinner that I cannot know God on my own?

The answer is YES. I need God, so desperately and so inherently. I fail, and I fail so often. I cannot even approach God without His Spirit moving in me towards Him!

"But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life." (Titus 3:4-7)

What a sweet verse! God is the One who brings us to Him, and He is the One working in us "...both to will and to work for his good pleasure." (Philippians 2:13)

God, work in me today to bring me closer to you. Change my heart to learn more of your character, allowing this to transform my heart and in turn, my actions. May I grow in surrendering my will to You; deepen the understanding of my depravity, that I may know you more.

shepherding a child's heart (pt.1)

2008-09-22T12:51:00.000-07:00

I am obsessed with this book (Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp). No, we are not pregnant yet, nor do we plan on having children anytime soon. Nonetheless, I have found this book to be extremely insightful and helpful to me as I contemplate parenting.

I have almost always viewed parenting as a daunting task, as something so sensitive and fragile in nature that one wrong move on the parent's part and the child is irreversibly "screwed up." Due to this, a portion of me has always feared parenting. What if I abuse this responsibility to raise children? What if I do not seek after God in everything concerning my child's development? How am I supposed to lead my children, as a parent who sins?

And then I found this book, which sheds light on the subject of biblical parenting and gives me hope as a woman who anticipates childrearing. How is this book different from any other rival parenting manual? It is entirely based on Scripture, leaving few pages without any Bible verses employed to defend the arguments. Everything Tedd teaches is Bible-dependent and in agreement with a conservative view of Scripture, which to me is an excellent and necessary quality for a "spiritual inspiration" book. The first part of this book is dedicated to shifting our paradigms to apply the Scriptural worldview to the specific subject of parenting. The rest of the book is devoted to revealing what this looks like practically.

The biggest life changing part of this book (so far) is when Tedd dives into the truth that our children are sinners. That's right, cute little sinners who are in desperate need of redemption. Here is a taste of what Tripp has to say about this:

"All behavior is linked to the attitudes of the heart...[discipline] focuses correction on deeper things than changed behavior... Your concern is to unmask your child's sin, helping him to understand how it reflects a heart that has strayed. That leads to the cross of Christ. It underscores the need for a Savior. It provides opportunities to show the glories of God who sent his Son to change hearts and free people enslaved to sin." (p.6)

He goes on to capture the entire thesis that this book aims to support:

"The heart is the wellspring of life. Therefore, parenting is concerned with shepherding the heart. You must learn to work from the behavior you see, back to the heart, exposing heart issues for your children. In short, you must learn to engage them, not just reprove them." (p.6)

This truth rocked me as I read it. Our parenting must have the focus of changing the heart, not behavior. As Tripp explains, a child's behavior is a mere reflection of the deeper issues that are waging war on the child's heart. And, as we gear our parenting towards this purpose, the cross of Christ is best revealed to our little sinning children.

Ultimately, this purpose for parenting will best expose the depravity of our children and assist them in realizing their need for the One who saves.

You will be hearing much more from me regarding this book!

thanks for womanhood

2008-09-19T08:56:00.001-07:00

As I am chilled by the truthful portrait of the treatment of women found in The Swallows of Kabul, my current bite of fiction, I thought it appropriate to praise God for womanhood today. It seems beneficial to be aware of the countless cultures around the world that do not value women and treat them as the image bearers of God that they were made to be. It may also be true that women are not viewed in this proper way in America as well, where most women in the media are bodiced with sexual immorality or fools entranced by pomo feminism. Nonetheless, today I want to dwell on the identity that I have in Christ, created in His image, as a women orchestrated to declare His glory and enjoy Him within the context of my family.

I rejoice today in the calling that I feel to dedicate my life to supporting, respecting, encouraging, submitting to, and loving my husband. I am eager today for the children that we will "bring up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4) I am eager to serve my family in the often-percieved-as-menial tasks of homemaking that I believe are significantly important. And, I am ready for the ways in which God may choose to use our family to declare His glory and redeem the earth.

May we be emboldened by our gender today and embrace the truth that we are God's creation, however that may flush out in our life circumstances. "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27)

an interesting challenge

2008-09-17T14:53:00.001-07:00

When perusing the Girltalk blog today, I came across this post. I found it so challenging. To think that waking up early, 5:00am early, is a good thing... sheesh! I am so far from thinking that. But I love the motivations behind it (first, to have designated time in Scripture before the craziness of the day ensues, and second, to be prepared for your family when they wake up). I can only imagine how much more love I would greet my children with in the mornings if I were awake and ready to recieve them, with a right heart before the Lord.

I'm not saying that this is the easiest thing in the world. But I'm thinking that it is well worth the fight to get up early. And, maybe now is the time to start.

midweek Gospel

2008-09-17T08:07:00.000-07:00

I realized this morning, waking up with my crisp cup of Joe and chocolate chip muffin, that by the middle of the week, I am distracted. By Wednesday or Thursday, I have forgotten the key exhortations from Sunday's sermon and find myself grasping for a level of intimacy with God that falls short of my desire. Spending time with community is an essential time of encouragement, rebuking, and truth affirmation. But let's face it...in the context of my work schedule and commitment to my husband (the greatest source of community for a wife), I am unable to meet at Peet's with my sisters in Christ like I could in my days at UCLA (as a student, of course). Time in the Word and in prayer are necessary to maintaining intimacy with the Lord, but even that is maimed by the disctractions that I easily give way to. I find myself midweek yearning for more...

And then it hit me. What I NEED more than anything else is the Gospel. I need this preached to me every minute of every day, or else I labor in vain. I need the weapon of the Word to penetrate my being, overwhelming me with righteous humility and dependence on the One who died for me. I need this at all times.

So, I thought it would be beneficial to begin a "midweek Gospel" category for my blog posts, in hopes that it redirects my attention on what "...is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (Philippians 4:8).

"...Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:2)

This truth always strikes deep. I love the contrast between the joy set before Him and the shame, the immense sacrifice prior to the unadulterated glorification of God's Son.

May we dwell on the truth of the Gospel today and always, ceasing to labor in vain.

another tuesday

2008-09-16T09:06:00.000-07:00

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." -Psalm 19:14

That is my prayer for this blog...that it may help facilitate the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart as I am stationed in an office desk for most of the week. I know I have mentioned this in several of my limited posts, but as I set the foundation for the life of this blog, I desire it to be grounded in good intentions and in truth. I don't want to wait for the clock to reach five for my life to begin... my life occurs wherever I am, whatever I am doing.

God is always there, deserving praise and worship. I am alive and capable of worshiping Him. So, let me do that at work and at home and in the car and in church and chatting with my friends and in any other circumstance I may be in.

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." -1 Corinthians 10:31

Another Tuesday has been given to me today. Another Tuesday I don't deserve. Another day to earn the means to support my husband as he is in school. Another packed lunch to eat, another dinner waiting to be eaten at home. Another opportunity to thank God for all of this that I don't deserve.

Another day to declare God's glory, whatever I do!

what my blog says about blogging

2008-09-15T11:15:00.001-07:00

Over the weekend, I was blessed to engage in several meaningful discussions about blogging. Trivial as it seems, it was very helpful for me to dissect the concept so as to better understand where I am coming from as a rookie blogger.

One of my concerns with blogging was about the way that I would come off to readers, i.e. how people would view me based on this cyber sphere that exposes my mind and heart. There is a fuzzy line for the blogger between blogging with good intentions and a clear conscience, and blogging to solicit the praises of men, constructing a pseudo self motivated by pride.

It is my intention that this blog may be an honest reflection of my life, nothing more and nothing less. The blog is a forum created for me to generate intentional and active thoughts on things that are above throughout the day as I sit at my desk, and to enlighten those who peruse my posts. Interpret it as you may, but know that I am attempting as much as possible to "keep it real" and edifying here at la cioccolata e buona.

And for those who are wondering, the title for this blog (with some assistance on the part of my wonderful husband) is "Chocolate is Good" in Italian. This is based on 1 Timothy 4: 4-5...

"For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer."

As chocolate (to me) is one of the richest blessings that our mouths can accept because it is good, may my blog simply be good, too.

look up

2008-09-12T12:01:00.000-07:00

Today as I was walking through the beautiful UCLA campus, I noticed that my eyes were oriented towards the ground. Although I walked in vastly open areas with few people scattered in the distance, I remained fixed on the bricks my toes would cross next.

Until I looked up.

I glanced ahead and saw a picturesque silhouette of trees crouching over the path I walked along. It struck me then that I had been so distracted, and even mindless, with my walking that I was missing out on the beauty that characterizes this renowned college campus. Because I failed to look up, I missed out on fully enjoying this walk across campus.

It may be a stretch, but these thoughts reminded me of the subject that Brian occasionally preaches on, namely the eternity of God. I always find these sermons to be extraordinarily refreshing, as so often my perspective is clouded with the here and now. It is food for my hungry soul that aches for truth to the highest degree...to know that God is so much bigger and more awesome than I could ever fathom is settling.

I was reminded of a few verses when dwelling on this today:
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." (Colossians 3:1-4) "Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

You return man to dust and say, “Return, O children of man!”
For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night. ... "For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh. The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you?

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:1-4, 9-12)

I so desperately need to be reminded to "look up" and see that the same God who loves me is one that has passed the test of time. Our lives pass in the blink of an eye, yet He cares for and nourishes His children. He was there before the beginning of time and will exist forever, and we are privileged to know Him intimately.

parenting cont.

2008-09-11T08:07:00.001-07:00

When I think about parenting (or rather, the ideal way to parent), I am bewildered. I feel almost paralyzed to even approach the subject because of the enormous responsibility that parents have raising children. Childrearers have the most influence in their children's lives, which can be good or bad. It seems like in our culture today, more often than not, this control that parents inherit when they usher a child into the world is abused, distorted, and harmful to their children. How many people do you know that have seriously troubled families?

Of course, all of us in one way or another have imperfect families, which is logical due to the fall of humanity.

But we are children of God, which has implications on how we are now raised.

"But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God..." (John 1:12)

"See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God..." (1 John 3:1)

"...that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world..." (Philippians 2:15)

As members of God's family, and as God as our Father, we are being parented by Him. He disciplines us out of love, as He desires us to grown in His likeness so that we may declare His glory throughout all the earth.

"Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:3-11)

It seems that this Scripture should be fundamental as we discuss the idea of parenting. We have the best, most perfect parent that exists in God! And we are being disciplined by Him out of love, raised up in righteousness for HIS sake.

As children of a perfect God, how does this relationship impact the way we parent?

introductory thoughts on parenting

2008-09-10T16:44:00.000-07:00

No, we are not planning on having kids in the near future. However, I still feel the need to begin a dialogue with my husband and with those around me regarding parenting philosophies. I hope to explore this idea throughout the life of my blog.

Today, I will post a quote from Tim Challies' blog. He is known for posting many book reviews, and the quote that follows is from the review of Instructing a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp, in which he references Shepherding a Child's Heart, Tripp's earlier book:

"The strength of this book, like Shepherding a Child’s Heart before it, and the message I need to hear again and again, is Tripp’s insistence, his constant exhortation, that parents must look beyond behavior and look primarily to the heart. It is far too simple to create little legalists, children who adhere to the letter of law, all the while defying the spirit of the law and the One who gives us laws in the first place. It is more difficult but far more profitable to look to the heart for it is the heart that is the wellspring of all behavior. The heart is the heart of all effective instruction. But where the focus of Shepherding was turning the emphasis from outward obedience to matters of the heart, the focus of Instructing is on building into a child’s heart a worldview that is biblical enough and sufficiently robust to stand up to their questioning and to the culture’s skepticism. The task of parenting, after all, involves showing our children “the vital connection between the powerful story of redemption in the Scriptures and their daily experience. The instruction we give them will only make sense in the context of the story of the Scriptures that tells them who they are and about the God who made them and offers them redemption.”"

Interesting.

more on hospitality

2008-09-10T08:28:00.000-07:00

After the ultra long post yesterday concerning hospitality, I realized that I didn't even get to share all that I feel like I've been learning about this topic as of late. As I have been reading this book, Practicing Hospitality, automatically my eyes have shifted to observe hospitality within the context of my existence. I began to identify actual hospitality lived out by godly people, seeing so clearly how a high view of others translates into meeting others needs within the context of the home. But I also became aware of a pseudo-hospitality, masked by externally appealing elements but lacking a right perspective of God, others, and service.

It seems that so often the term hospitality corresponds with obligation; whether or not that is openly addressed or suppressed is a different issue. People can easily feel like they should be hospitable, and unfortunately this attitude creates a feeling of unwelcome and discomfort for the guests.

But true hospitality is not measured in appearance or quality of goods; it is clearly apparent when people are welcomed and served by a heart of love and genuine concern that can only be the result of knowing an awesome God. As we think about ways in which we can be hospitable people, let's begin by thanking God for all that He has blessed us with, most importantly salvation. "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls." (1 Peter 2:24-25)

We must first grasp that salvation is a gift, not something we deserve or earned. As this makes more sense, we see the extreme humility of Christ... a humility that rightfully silences us as we ponder just how much He loves those He died for. Since Scripture assures us that we are being sanctified and grown in the likeness of Christ, then we can actively pursue this perfect humility knowing that God is transforming our hearts and bringing us closer to Him. Herein lies the heart behind any Christian action, that it is God working in us to accomplish His good works, "for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13). Only then can we attempt to encompass the heart of hospitality that Scripture calls us to.

God,

I want to be more than just a good hostess. I want to be a hospitable person, regardless of external circumstances. I want to truthfully consider others as more important than myself, and find joy in serving others. Help me to fight the overwhelming desire to be selfish with what you have given me and to view my life from your perspective. Thank you for your Son and His incredible sacrifice.

In Him.

overwhelm me

2008-09-09T14:52:00.000-07:00

Take not Thy presence from me
for I desire to know You more
For you are worthy of all,
You’re worthy of all I am and more

I need to set my mind on things above,
on the holiness and glory of my God
In the heavens and in my heart
Who created a mountain
And Who set a spark that grew into a flame
that burns deeply for You

Overwhelm me
Take me from this place and
put me in the place where You are
Overwhelm me
Shake the ground I stand on
I want to be dependent on You…on only You.

Words and Music by Michael Bleecker © 2000

hospitality

2008-09-09T08:23:00.000-07:00

As I thought about the creation of my blog last night, I sifted through ideas that could be my next post. I decided that the main purpose of this blog would not expose the ins and outs of my daily life. Rather, this blog was created for encouragement and fostering spiritual growth for me, and for those who would read. Since I sit in front of my desk nearly all day and my job is pretty much dependent on my supervisor, I have a plethora of 10 minutes here and there that normally are wasted on Google News Feeds and Facebook. It just seems wise to put those spare minutes to use, whether posting or thinking about my next post or reading up on someone else's beneficial blog. Basically, this blog keeps my mind stimulated and more focused on things that are above and matters that are actually important in life, all the while getting my work done from eight to five.

As a fellow blog reader, one of the most impacting elements of the blog-reading experience is seeing what other people are reading and what they think about what they read. This is especially helpful for those blog posters who I admire and consider theologically sound, as I know that what is on their reading list will surely benefit the reader. For this reason, my blog will have a large number of book reviews or posts relating to books. I intend to drench my blog with book reviews a) because I can cite other people's ideas and not solely rely on my own thoughts to carry the blog and b) because I always was terrible at Reading Comprehension, and this is a good challenge for me! Feel free to take my book reviews as a grain of salt. But you must know that many of the books on my reading list are endorsed by my husband's seminary, Masters; keep that in consideration if you wish. :)

Beginning married life over the past two and a half weeks has been absolutely amazing. Matt and I have grown so much in our relationship, and it has been truly a time of joy and thankfulness. But until Saturday night, it seemed almost as part of the married experience was absent; this is because on Saturday night, we got a dining room table. Now, I'm sure you are wondering how a dining room table has anything to do with marriage (other than its a place for daily exchange of "How was your day, Honey?" and the central location for all food-related festivities). But I believe that the dining room table plays a significant role in marriage, and this is because of the idea of hospitality.

In reading Practicing Hospitality: The Joy of Serving Others by Pat Ennis and Lisa Tatlock, my paradigm relating to hospitality was severely rocked. Another book firmly rooted in Scripture, these two godly women explore the concept of hospitality and expand the often minimal understanding of the term in a manner that forces the reader to grasp that hospitality is much more than hosting a dinner party. The authors dabble in the relationship of hospitality and various subjects: hospitality and strangers, hospitality and family, hospitality and management, hospitality and your home, etc. I don't think that there is a page of this book that does not include a dose of Scripture, which to me is quite refreshing. Additionally, one of the best bonuses of this book (that appeals to all you domestic females out there!) is that the closing of each chapter includes around 3 recipes... recipes that even relate to the content of the chapter! I found this little taste of recipes to be super practical (as these women are passing down recipes that they KNOW work well), and they sparked in me the desire to make food for others to eat at my home!

One of the most influential parts of this book (which yes, is another book I am posting on that I have not finished yet... oops!) is how these ladies delve into the theology and perspective behind a heart of hospitality. Their opening chapter "Hospitality and Character" carefully unravels the character traits that should compose a heart of hospitality, the first one being humility. "Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble'" (1 Peter 5:5). It makes sense that humility would significantly comprise the heart behind hospitality, because how can we serve others when we are failing to "count them as more significant than [ourselves]" (Philippians 2:3)? This is a tremendous area of struggle for me, as I so selfishly desire to look out for myself before others. Honestly, there are times when I do count myself as better than others, and it is disgusting. But by the grace of God, my heart is being restored each day as I conform to the likeness of His Son. Sweet!

Another great feature of this book is that the authors don't really settle on one definition of hospitality. Like I previously mentioned, they do not say that hospitality is all about entertaining friends or family, or even than hospitality is all about giving up your home for strangers. Rather, they broaden the reader's understanding of hospitality by exporting Scripture left and right and infusing it within the many facets of our existence. Nonetheless, when Pat and Lisa asked women of their church what hospitality was, they all had different responses, of which these are some of my favorites:

"Meeting the emotional, physical, and spiritual needs of our guests in an atmosphere of warmth and love."--Sue Edwards
"An attitude of the heart, one that genuinely loves others... a sense of welcome when you walk through a front door; a sense of acceptance in a comfortable environment."--Amme Goad
"Defined by servanthood, striving to do for others, causing them to feel welcomed, wanted and worthwhile. The greatest setting for this is my home, secondarily in my church, and thirdly in my employment. The ultimate goal of Christian hospitality is furthering the kingdom; in other words, will my behaviors encourage others to know Christ? Will more people be in heaven because God worked through me?"--Debby Lennick

Hospitality is a heart issue, NOT a measure of action. I think this is where many of us get mixed up; we assume that the proper actions are godly and meeting the needs of those we are serving, when sometimes we are too concerned with the action that we neglect to have the right heart. This is unfortunate, as I'm sure many can relate to the experience of being served by others in an ideal setting while still feeling slightly unwelcome. But Scripture calls us to primarily love God, and because of that, love others; practicing hospitality correctly and Biblically must flow from a heart of love for God and a love for people. Otherwise, our actions are useless.

Please pick up this book if you are interested at all in cultivating a heart of hospitality. I know for me, this book was so sweet to me during lunch breaks at work this summer while I was engaged. And now that my husband and I have a home together, I feel one step closer to understanding the fullness of hospitality that God intended it to be.

I am excited for the ways that our dining table will serve merely as a tool for God's plan to declare His glory in our home.

intentionality at work

2008-09-08T14:54:00.000-07:00

God,

Thank you for the blessing of this job at UCLA. I only have it because of you! I'm so thankful that by this job, you are providing for my husband to attend seminary and learn more about you.

But Father, it is so easy to be selfish at work and forget the lost souls that surround me! There are people that I communicate with each day who don't know you, who don't know eternal life with a God who loves them more than they can imagine... and yet, I continue on with my routine as if it doesn't even matter. It does matter! You have sovereignly placed me in this position for a purpose, and I am convinced that it is to love my coworkers and shine as light in a place clouded with deceit and lies.

So Lord, please forgive this wandering heart and restore me to a right perspective of this job you have given me and of the people that surround me. Help me to be intentional with my coworkers in a loving, gentle but truthful way. Use me to accomplish your glory in this place!

current reading

2008-09-08T11:00:00.001-07:00

After finishing the latest Nicholas Sparks' flick on our honeymoon (it seemed appropriate), I was itching for another easy fictional page turner. I didn't bring any other fiction with me intentionally because I knew that was all I would read. So, I brought along a few Christian "inspiration" books. For some reason, especially on vacation, I hesitate to shower my mind with literature that can actually benefit my life. Sometimes I will use the excuse, "I just want to relax" or "The content of these Biblically-based books is too rich for me to read at the pace of other literature". Essentially, I make up excuses for why I want to be lazy in what I read.

My amazing husband delicately pointed this out to me on our honeymoon and challenged me to read more on what will actually benefit my life. I should mention, however, that I am still a big proponent of reading for pleasure and will post on my newest fiction The Swallows of Kabul in time.

Nonetheless, I am now reading Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother by Carolyn Mahaney. What an excellent book to read while beginning my life as a wife! I have heard Carolyn speak via podcast concerning specific marriage-related issues and found her to be such a sweet-sounding, experienced, down to earth, godly woman. In Sex and the Supremacy of Christ by John Piper and Justin Taylor, she has a chapter dedicated to what every Christian wife needs to know (which I highly suggest to fellow engaged and married women). I had to pick this book up when I saw it, because I love hearing what she has to say!

Carolyn bases her "seven virtues" on the Titus 2 woman: "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." (verses 3-5, ESV) Each chapter is dedicated to one specific calling (i.e. to love her husband, to love her children, to be pure, to be self-controlled, etc.). Each chapter is filled with scripture and personal experience, which allows the weightiness of Scripture to be illuminated by practical advice. Although I have not finished this book yet, I am excited to learn more about the gloriousness of marriage and motherhood in light of God's design in Scripture as explained by Carolyn.

el salvador

2008-09-08T10:32:00.000-07:00

Lord,

Thank you for the blessing of the church. Thank you that you have given believers a body to live with... a family to grow in righteousness alongside... a group of people to live life with. What a gift you have given in the church!

God, thank you for Shoreline. It has brought so much joy and growth to my life, and I am so blessed continuously by it. I want to lift up Scott and Brian this week as they head to El Salvador, Lord... that you would bless them on this trip. Keep them safe, and soften their hearts for what you desire to reveal to them this week. Shower them with your truth as they are in a foreign land. Help them to be wise with their time, to be intentional with whomever they encounter this week, to be humble and grateful for all you have blessed them with. And lastly, God, please shake them up to view life in a perspective that more closely resembles yours! Challenge them, and may the body be blessed by what you teach them!

In Christ.

The Beginnings of a Blogging Adventure

2008-09-08T10:15:00.001-07:00

As Shoreline Church has recently been hyping the birth of their blog network, I have found myself digesting each post as if it were my latest snack. It is exciting and encouraging to engage in church community via the web... it is as if I am meeting Brian and Scott for coffee once a day (and only listening to their opinions of specific issues, and not providing any insight). Of course, the blog community has been alive and well for years now, and I'm aware that many Shoreliners are actively committed to the blogging network. Yet, the inauguration of the Shoreline blog network cements the concept of virtual community to me, which is why I have decided to develop a blog of my own.

I cannot foresee how useful this shall be (to myself and to others). But I do know that it will inspire me to set my mind on things above during the 40 hours/week that I am glued to my computer chair. And, as I settle into married life with my wonderful husband Matt, I have found that I am missing out on the prayer journaling that previously occupied my spare time. Due to this, I intend to pour out those thoughts and prayers that dance through my mind day-in and day-out onto this very blog.

Enjoy!